I remember coming home from school one day. Mum said we needed to talk. We went to my room. The bed was perfectly made. The sun was streaming in from outside. As soon as Mum opened her mouth. I knew it was bad news. Someone had told her that I was gay. And with the cultural background that we come from, that wasn’t okay. I felt isolated. I felt like I could never share my true self. And I felt like no one would ever love me.

I always felt like people didn’t really understand me. And even though I had people around me, I still felt alone. And my mental health declined, and I isolated myself more. Alcohol and drugs started to play a bigger role. Having substances was like a safety blanket for me. It kept me safe from realizing how scared I actually was and how much pain I was actually in.

Through my journey of recovery, I’ve been very fortunate that I’ve had some mentors who have helped me, who have guided me and taught me what wellness and recovery looks like in te ao Māori , the Māori world. Tupuna, or our ancestors, are very important to the identity that makes up a person. When I think about this in context of my Korean culture and my Korean heritage, I feel that strength, and I feel stronger and more capable.

I work as a lived experience advisor, which means I get to use my personal experiences. The mental health struggles, the alcohol and drug issues that I had, I get to use it in my work every day. If I can help bring some positivity into someone’s life, if I can show them that they matter, then I know I’m doing a good job. Improving mental health isn’t just about accessing services. It’s about all of the things that happen outside of appointments or outside of a different service that you go to. It’s about what life feels like at home, at school.

We all have people that we care about, whether it’s our friends, our family, our colleagues, classmates, people that we see every day. I know for me, it’s my responsibility to look out for the people that I care for, just as they would for me.